Social Media Culture

North Cascades, Mountain Loop Highway (Photo Credit: Cliff Birdsall)

 A pretty picture is just that, a pretty picture. It does not exam the depths of a person, show the pain and the pain that the person may be experiencing. That is the thing about social media, we control how much of the world we want to let it, we manipulate how much we want people to view us. We are able to manipulate our image so much, where we are falsely projecting our self. Time and time again, I see so many posting about what grand mountaineers and climbers they are, but there is not much experience when you dig down to the truth of it.  

Personally, I am no one special. Although, I am sure my social media image makes me seem like I am so much more. It seems lately, that social media is defining us. We can try to hide from it, but the end the day, the social media beast has created a bit of a high school vibe. It seems that we are always trying to one-up one another, trying to be cooler than the other girl. In my experiences, it has created a high school culture throughout the Pacific Northwest. People gossiping over who is doing what and bad-mouthing one another. Then, the next day going out with that person and getting the perfect shot for the gram.

I too have been guilty of saying some not so flattering things about others, but in the end, I am a person who cannot stand for the superficial bullshit and two-faced relationships. I moved to Seattle over a year ago, looking for a fresh start from Tacoma/Gig Harbor. I left my hometown of Post Falls, Idaho only five years prior.  I had found my passions in Rock Climbing and Mountaineering only the previous year, and was excited to be closer to my closet friends and meet people who I had met through social media. Little did I know, that I would never feel more confused, ashamed, and counting down the days to leave. 

Only a few months upon my arrival, I lost my best friend. She tarnished a close friends name by creating lies, but most of all she created lies about our friendship. Saying things about me to others that were complete lies, lies which she to this day, still continues to spread. I have never felt so betrayed in my life. Why? Because I do not open up to many, and she was the first person I truly 100 percent trusted. Not only that, but the fact that I would do anything for the friends in my life. It stung, and it still does. The sting was made worst after seeing people who I believed where my friends, who had bad mouthed her, plastered all over one another's Instagram's feeds.

Trust me, I am far from perfect. My blunt attitude can often be interpreted the wrong way. I have no problem saying how I feel to someone's place and have no time to play high school politics with talking about someone behind their back. My mistakes are something I will not regret, because they have made me who I am. There have been plenty of things in my life that I have not been proud of, but I have always been a trusting and genuine person. I spent the last few weeks questioning if there was something wrong with me. Then I realized, I do not have time for the insincere bullshit and the energy to have certain people as friends was not worth it. Real friends are not fair weather friends. 

Obviously, many will be upset about how I feel, but deep down inside I think many will agree. We are a society obsessed with who we are online. I have heard so many girls say, "Oh look at her. She does such epic things, that must be why he doesn't like me." A picture  online? That is how we define ourselves these days? Comparing ourselves to someone's Instagram Handle? This day and age, we can stalk whomever we would like online, it is pretty easy. Seriously though, you control how the world sees you online. Begs the question, how is this #liveauthentic?

Over the past few months, I have really been reflecting on these things. We have all seen the influx of injuries and deaths in Rock Climbing, Mountaineering, and Hiking. Outdoors is so mainstream and the thing to do right now. People are seeing others online and believing they too can go from the gym to the crag with no knowledge of safety or really what they are doing. I have watched people climb El Dorado on a rope team with no idea how to do Crevasse Rescue, seen people plan to climb Sahale Peak with no climbing knowledge or experience, and people preach LNT (Leave No Trace) on their feeds but destroy Alpine Meadows because they need their perfect social media post.

Maybe I was lucky, lucky that I had the proper person get me started with mountaineering and climbing. And continue to be lucky because I have so many people who have helped me become a safe and informed participant in the outdoors. I continue to grow, and still have so much to learn. I will never claim to be an all knowing person, all I can do is offer what my experiences were and how I deal with things.

Since the summer ended, I have made it a point to not really bring out my camera for the majority of my adventures. I was getting lost in wanting to make sure I kept up with everyone online. Making sure my adventures were just as rad. But for what reason? Outside is not something I do for anyone else, it's what I do for me. 

So here it is, this is me.

The outdoors for me, is what has saved my life. Sure, cliche. But I wanted to kill myself for many years, my bouts of depression and anxiety are something that will never be cured. I battle my demons ever day. When I was 19, I was diagnosed with endometrosis, causing me chronic pain and the inability to have children. My family is unconventional, my real father is what I like to call a sperm donor because he never made the effort to be apart of my life. I have family members who suffer from their own demons including PTSD, Depression, and addiction.

I deleted all my Instagram post that did not have to do with the outdoors because I wanted to grow my following. Growing my following has been a focus not because I want to be "Instafamous," but because I have a five year goal of starting a non-profit to help people like me.  Sure, I have gotten some great perks from social media. My handle will never be for the sole purpose of advertising for a company. It will be my outlet to share my journey, and if it helps only one person who feels alone out there, my job is done. What I have wanted to do have been successful.

I am no great mountaineer, climber, or even hiker. I am just me. Just a person who enjoys going outside. I'll never try to give anyone a false perception of these things. I love with all my heart and will always speak the truth. It may come off harsh, and I am not going to be friends with everyone because of it.

In March, I'll be leaving Washington to start my new journey. I will be spending my Spring and Summer at Smith Rock outside of Bend to focus on climbing safe and getting strong so I can take my SPI (Single Pitch Instructor) to take my next steps to guide and connect with others for my future non-profit. My life is not a fairytale, to make this a reality, I work doubles 15-18 hour days 3 days a week. All of this to live out of my car and a tent for 6 plus months. I can't say that I am sad about saying goodbye to Seattle, it hasn't been kind to me, and yeah, maybe I am to blame for that. But I will never change my honesty and I respect myself too much to get caught up in high school drama as an adult. 

Your life is your own.

Do not base your value on how many likes and followers you get.

Guess what? One day, Instagram will go away, and the next best thing will come along. So why does it really matter?

Remember that.

If you are living it for social media, you may want to start self-reflecting on the reasons why you are doing what you are doing. You have some many moments in your life. Put down the phone, computer, and camera, and go outside.. I dare you.

Until the next adventure.