Mount Walker Hike-Olypmics East

Mount Walker-Olympics East

Looking for a quick, but intense hard workout? Look no farther than Mt. Walker in Olympic National Forest. I wanted to test out my endurance on this hike, and it did just that. You gain 1,000 feet per mile and the entire trail is at about a 20% grade. For those of you who are not avid hikers, I do not know if I would recommend this hike to start. There are no real breaks in the incline, but it is a pretty peaceful hike and I would like to do it again in the spring when all the flowers along the trail are blooming.  

During the off season, you do have to walk past the gate, but the trailhead is only about 5 minutes away. Getting to the top is rewarding, although there was a bit of fog coverage when I made it to the top, I could still see the end of the Hood Canal, Olympics, and some of the Cascades peaking out. It only took about 2 hours to get up and back. 

Great little training hike to test your endurance.

Big Four Ice Caves-Mt Baker National Forest 1/11/2015

Big Four Ice Caves Adventure 1/11/15

Looking for a place that will make you remember that it is a big world out there? This is the place. I discovered the Big Four Ice Caves via Instagram, and knew I had to check it out for myself.  How could you not want to see something that was made by nature?

So, my new found adventure seeker friends and myself headed up on a Sunday late morning for our 2 hour drive the Mount  Baker National Forest.  The drive wasn't too bad, and we didn't see any real sign of snow until getting to the parking lot at the trailhead. This was a very busy trailhead, full of college students, families, and dogs.  The hike is a fairly easy one, but I did see some people in Hunter's Rain Boots. They look confused on why they were slipping. 

After a short journey in, the vision of the ice caves and giant granite walls was unbelievable. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and all the beauty. It's amazing as you walk in and you can see waterfalls trickling down the granite. It isn't recommended to go on the snow fields, but I did it any ways to check out the waterfalls close up. There are weak spots, so be careful. So many people were actually in the cave, DO NOT DO THIS! People have been killed by falling ice, and it is melting and changing all the time.

If you live in Washington, put this one on your list of places to visit. It is truly amazing, and basically in your backyard. Enjoy it people!

Examinations

Examinations.

As I continue to learn more about myself, I find myself examining so many aspects of my life. There are so many questions that I keep asking myself.

1. Why is it so hard for us to put all of our eggs in one basket when it comes to matters of the heart?

2. Is it okay to not know what you want?

3. Why do we hold out for someone even if we know that person probably will hurt us?

4. Will I ever love someone the way I loved him/her?

5. Is there such thing as forever?

As we find ourselves in the world of being single, we start to wonder, do we hang on to hope of re-kindling something with our ex, or do we move on to someone new? I have been very guilty of moving on way too fast when it comes to the next relationship. For the first time ever though, I find myself wanting to be alone and enjoy those moments to myself. It is so empowering to just be you, to be alone with your thoughts.  Those thoughts can be a problem though, I find myself re-living all my past mistakes and understanding my flaws much better. Perhaps, this is harder for me, and others who are still in a bit of limbo with their ex.  He was my best friend after all, and the only person that I felt most comfortable with.

The journey gets complicated even more as we enjoy our lives, meet more people. We are humans after all, and a lot of us still have this idea of a "soulmate," so yes, we still very much love our person. But we begin to start a journey that does not evolve that person.  For me, I wonder if we are beginning to grow apart. The sad truth is, most of us do grow apart. Think about it, you spend so much of your life with someone, and that bam, one day, you have no idea who that person is anymore. The hard thing is, if you do not know if that is what you want.

Thus, posing the question if it is okay to not know what we want? How long is it okay to not know what you want? Not knowing is the hardest part, but I guess all you can do is just build your life. With the idea that you will be the captain and co-captain. No one should complete you, they should just be a cherry on top.  Yet, we still want that soulmate to share our adventures with.

Third, holding on to someone that is probably going to hurt us. Why do we do this? People who are unemotionally unavailable are magnets to others.  It's as if we have a desire to fix the person. Or perhaps, the hope that we will be enough for that person to see that  we are all they need. You can be honest and tell someone you can't give them what they need, and yet they still hold out for you. This is the beauty of the human race. We do always want the happy ending, we do want our lives to be like the movies. We all know the story, guy meets girl who is in love with someone else. Girl realizes that guy is actually the one for her, not the other dude. But does this really happen in real life?  If it does, it doesn't happen overnight. It is a long, painful, chaotic journey. It rips your heart out. But if it last, then it has to be forever right?

I find myself stuck on the question of whether or not I will love someone as much as I did him.  Sounds a bit selfish, and probably not fair to anyone. This is something I wonder, will I ever feel the way I did about him about anyone else? Will they awaken my soul and satisfy my needs? I can't even give an insightful answer to this, because I have no idea. This is the hardest question.

Last, is there such thing as forever? Forever is such a long time, and in the world we live in now, does forever even exist? We upgrade our phones, cars, and clothes as soon as possible. It's in us to get the next best thing. So do we do that with our hearts, do we have the ability to commit to forever?

Maybe I will never be able to answer all of these questions, but I do know that time heals all wounds. As cheesy as it sounds, everything happens in your life for a reason. So breathe it in, accept it. Go with the flow and love yourself first. Always remember who you are and what makes you, well you. It's a hard journey, and you can only lean on yourself forever.

Maybe, this is all we can hope for?

Release.

Release.

There is only one reason why I write my blog and let it be published publicly. I do not post this blog to hurt people or make myself cool. I write this blog because it is one of the only ways I know how to express myself emotionally. My real friends who have known me for many years, support me and my creative outlet. People who do not  really know me will never understand it. But that's okay. I am not everyone's cup of tea and my personality is not for everyone.

It does not make me lose sleep at night to know that someone believes lies about me and never really understood me. I'm an open book, and I have little respect for people who hide who they are. My number one issue with people is when they pretend to be one thing, but they are really another. 

None of us are perfect. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, and continue to make mistakes. That's alright, we make mistakes and we grow from the experiences. It's when you aren't growing that you should be concerned.

I'm perceived as huge bitch to many people who don't know me. I am blunt, to the point, and do not accept people treating me badly. Thus, other girls often form opinions about me that are untrue, but that is okay, because them liking me is not on my priority list. I try to give people chances after they have hurt me, but it never seems to work out. 

Perception of who we are and what people see is a funny thing.  We may think everyone likes us, and then when we aren't around they may comment on how trashy we were at a Christmas Party or how embarrassingly drunk we were the other night. Laughable, how fake someone is to your face, and how they will stab you in the back that first chance they get. I've noticed these people usually will try to alienate you from your friends. And yet, a lot of people still think these types of people are their friends. Living in the darkness of not knowing is much easier for them. In exchange, they alienate every person who is truly there for them.

I like to accept who I am, all of my physical and emotional flaws. Embrace it, because you are less likely to care at the end of the day if someone does not accept you. The past 6 months has really shown me that I only have the power to let others hurt me. Others do not have the power to hurt me. If you don't like my personality, that's okay. I won't be sad about it, because chances are, I probably don't like you either. Sounds kind of harsh, but we are all so different from one another. How is everyone expected to just like everyone else? Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I hate these people. I just don't care for them to be in my life.

My intentions are to always see the best in people. My oldest friends have been in my life for over 10 plus years, friends that I can call and share my joys and sadness with. I appreciate that and will be forever grateful for the acceptance. We have had our fights, but we deal with them as adults, and it makes our friendship stronger. I would be worried if we didn't have fights, because then you know it isn't real.

Back to my first sentence, this blog is my form of release. To say the words that are hard to say. To be me, and you can either love it or hate.

The Cool Kids.

Isn't it funny how people still try so hard to be cool after high school?

Most recently, I have began to reevaluate who I trust in my life. I am so sick and tired of people telling me how they are and who they are. Your words mean nothing, your actions mean everything.  I've personally noticed the less I care about what others think, the happier I am. But I am still angry at myself for trusting fake people who will do anything to hang out with the "cool kids." Watch out for these people, they are so desperate to fit in, they will do anything in their power to fit in.


What a sad life this is, to live in a world where you think you need to fit in and be liked to be everybody. In my life, these people usually aren't that liked and live in a strange reality. For example, I have a person in my life that I thought was my friend, but she is so lost in her life. I feel extremely embarrassed for her. The way she  thinks people see her is funny to me now in hindsight. She pretends to be such a open and happy person.  This same person counts her worth by the number of "friends" she has and how full her social calendar is. Truth be told, those same people that she calls her friends say the nastiest things about her. This is the same person who sat across from me and judged me for my life and my experiences.

I know that I should have told her  how terrible it made me feel, but I knew I would get a false apology with her artificial smile. This person does nothing but judge me for who I am. If it came down to her success and to her fitting in, she would be the first person to throw me under the bus.

At the end of the day, she is digging her own grave. Everything that I have to say, will be said to your face. I don't play "fake" with people. Although, I don't have a plethora of "friends" and my social calendar is not full every day, I know who my true friends are. They are people that love me for who I am. Even when I make the wrong choices, they share my highs and my lows with me. Friends are people who don't make you feel like you can't be yourself. You should never have to apologize for who you are with your friends. If people make you feel bad, leave them, stick to people who make you feel good.

Chances are, the people who are judging you have no self-confidence.

Don't let your self worth be measured by others. You will spend your whole life trying to fit in a mold and filling your life with people who are not worth your time.  Meaningless friends are not worth your time or energy. You can get so lost when you worry about what people think about you. Trust me, I have been victim to this.  Another learning lesson, people who talk about others to you, are usually talking about you to others.

Just don't forget, others don't define you.

Lena Lake Trail #810-New Year's Day Hike

New Year Kickoff, Lena Lake Trail #810

View at Lena Lake

I've always been obsessed with hiking and climbing since I was 17. Every year I tell myself, this is the year that I throw myself into adventure and discover what nature has to offer me.  Now, at 28, I have no more excuses. I have lived in the shadow of the Olympics and the Cascades for too long to just look at them. It's pretty embarrassing to tell others that I have never been to Rainier, but I will save that hike for another day.

Most recently, I have become obsessed with the Washington Trail Association. If you have not checked it out yet, do it now. It is very helpful and you can find other fellow hikers who post their most recent hikes so you know what to expect.  

I hold a soft spot in my heart for the Olympics, the beauty is almost unreal.  I never thought I would think the green of moss was beautiful, but that is before I went to the Olympics.  After doing some research, I found that Lena Lake is the spot to be for beginner hikers--but is so busy in the warmer months that it was not very enjoyable.  Lower Lena Lake is the gateway to The Brothers and Upper Lena Lake--both VERY challenging hikes. 

It was cold, and there were only about 10 other people besides my group that we encountered. The trail has a variety of switchbacks, areas that are covered by ice, and quite a few trees that almost block the trail entirely. So be prepared. This trail will keep your senses satisfied. Shortly after you start the hike you can hear the rush of water from one of the many creeks, springs, and waterfalls.  There are a lot of rocks and roots on the trail, so make sure you are paying attention. All in all, the hike was not that challenging if you are in decent physical shape, but is a great hike for beginners. The view from "Lunch Rock" on to Lena Lake is amazing.

The reflection of trees in the glass-like water and the crisp winter air takes your breath away. If you continue you past Lena Lake, you will find campsites and bathrooms. I imagine these are jam-packed in the summer. You can continue to find a log bridge (but it is covered in ice) and cross over to find more amazing views.

I don't believe I would want to do this hike in the warmer months. Get out there and enjoy it, you can't experience this stuff on your apps or from your television. Life is way to short to let the beauty of the world pass you by.

Happy 2015.

2014 Lessons

Hello 2015.

   2014, was a year that was unexpected. If you would have asked me a few weeks ago, I would have told you it was one of the worst years of my life. But recent reflections have made me realize it was probably one of the most educational years of my life, on a personal and professional level. I do not believe in making New Years Resolutions. I believe in re-evalutioing and making the changes where they are needed. For 2015, I will remember:

1. Sometimes love isn't enough. Sounds silly, but it is the cold truth that all of us have either  gone through or will go through. You love someone so much, they are your best friend, but you keep having the same fights. You love this person with all your heart, and they you. Maybe that's the thing about great loves, your heart is so full of love for this person and you feel like your heart just might explode. This creates our fantasy world with this person, unrealistic expectations, and when we are let down, the love can't pull us through the tough times. It is a heartbreaking experience, and I am not sure how long it takes to heal. Maybe you never heal all the way, and take a piece of that person with you. 

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”  ―Elizabeth Gilbert

2. Knowing your self worth (Professionally).  This year, I left a job that I loved, but the atmosphere made me absolutely miserable. I was very successful in making the company profitable, but the higher ups had other expectations on what I should be doing. I wasn't in the "clique" and wanted so badly to get their approval. Now, in hindsight, I wish I would have left long ago and realized they were the ones who were losing out. I will never work for someone who doesn't appreciate me, and won't value my work ethic. I know that I am worth so much more than the way they treated me, and I will never let someone try to make me feel so small again.

3. Knowing your self worth (Personally).  I can't chase someone who won't chase me, no one should. It is not fair to punish someone for their mistakes by pulling away and expecting them to do all the work, all the chasing. What are you running from? Love is never easy, it doesn't run smoothly. Ask anyone who has been married forever, they will tell you their were times they wanted to run for the hills. But they love that person and know that working through the hard times was what it was going to take. I never claim to be perfect, but I also know that if you love someone, you love the good with the bad. Why should someone get me at my best, if they can't love me at my worst?

4. Don't Over Think It. What's happened has happened, no need to think about it and obsess over it. Everything happens for a reason. Even though it is hard for us to understand in the moment. You don't need a plan in life, you just need to breathe, trust, and see what happens. Life is too short, just enjoy it.

5. Enjoy Nature. Live it.

6. Reflect.  Think before you speak, know your words will hurt. Take time to reflect, if you are hurting, feel it.  Don't let anyone control you or how you feel. It's okay to be you!

Now bring on the new year.